


Retrospect

by MegsWrites



Category: Fate: The Winx Saga (TV)
Genre: (saul/farah if you squint), Angst, Character Study, F/M, Golden Trio, Post Series, its a mess, no but seriously i wrote this so fast, unbeta'd: we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:41:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29137227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MegsWrites/pseuds/MegsWrites
Summary: Saul finds himself with too much time to think.(Set post season one, so spoilers of pretty much everything.)
Relationships: Farah Dowling/Saul Silva
Comments: 11
Kudos: 86





	Retrospect

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little warmup character thing. I want so much more content about Saul and Ben and Farah. I love them.

He loses track of the days. It's impossible to tell time down here, shut away in the bowels of the Solarian dungeons, the light that spills from the sparse fixtures is unchanging, there isn’t even a simulated day/night cycle to cling to. He knows that’s intentional, they want him unbalanced. No one’s asked him any questions yet. But they will. Or maybe they’ll just leave him here to rot, crushed by the weight of all the things he doesn't understand. 

Even without the ever-burning light, sleep would have eluded him. He lies on his back on the thin cot and goes over and over the same questions. How had Andreas survived? Why hadn’t he returned home? Was anything Rosalind had ever told any of them true? All the vows he’d made, the penance he’d paid, had it all meant nothing? He feels unmoored, adrift and alone, so far from shore there is no hope of rescue. 

He aches for home. For Sky. There had been fear in his eyes as the Solarian guards shoved Saul into the back of the car. He’d tried to reassure the boy, even as his own heart pounded frantically in his chest. _It’s OK_ , he’d said. He knew neither of them believed it. Just one more failure to add to the ways he’s let Sky down. He knows he wasn’t a perfect parent, knows despite the overwhelming depth of his love for the boy, he alway kept him at arm's length in many ways. Bringing Sky closer would have meant telling him the truth, not just about his father’s death, but also his life. Saul had wanted to spare Sky that, what point was there in exposing the ugly underbelly of a man long dead? But now… Saul had loved Andreas too, would have died for him had there been any other way, but he also knew him, and he fears for Sky now in a way he can’t articulate. 

Thoughts of Sky inevitably carry over into thoughts of Alfea. He worries for its safety, for the students he’s supposed to be protecting. They’re good kids, hard workers, even Riven who just cares so damn much. The hard truth is they aren’t ready. They haven’t been operating at wartime levels, they’d made the choice not too, and he knows it was the right call for long term wellbeing of his students. The trouble is he doesn't know how much long term any of them have left. 

He’s afraid for Ben, now surely caught in an impossible web, Saul isn’t naive enough to think it's him alone Rosalind is seeking vengeance on. They’d all betrayed her. United they’d been strong enough to catch her off guard, they'd also been lucky. Separated, he doesn't think any of them have much of a chance. Ben has already lost so much, more than the rest of them perhaps, and he has more still to lose. Rosalind holds all the cards, as she always has, and Saul knows she will not hesitate to play them. Maybe they’d all been fools to think they could escape her.

He tries not to think of Farah and fails. 

The panic that rises in his chest at the thought of her makes the room spin. He presses the heels of his hands to his eyes and tries to breath. He doesn't know anything for sure, he reminds himself, the last time he’d seen her she’d been tired, worried, but strong. Alive. How long do you think that will last? Says the voice in his head, sometimes it is Rosalind, sometimes Andreas, sometimes his own. That last one is the worst. 

He knows Farah, better than he knows himself sometimes. He knows she will never let Rosalind take control of the school, knows with his whole being that she will fight tooth and nail for Alfea. If it was anyone else he’d have no doubt in her victory, she’s the strongest person he knows, magic or no. But even Farah Dowling’s power had been second to Rosalind. And she’s alone now. He’s left her alone to face the wolves. The other thing he knows with bone deep certainty is that Rosalind will suffer no rival. Immovable Mountain. Unstoppable Force. There is no equation he can conjure that leaves both women alive. Farah may already be lost. The very possibility rips through him with savage force. He cannot. Cannot. 

He shoves himself roughly up off the cot, fear and anger pounding through him in time with his heartbeat. He paces the length of the small cell, knows they are watching. He tries to still his frantic breathing, doesn't want to give them the satisfaction of letting them see how he’s coming apart at the seams. His mouth tastes like metal. 

Be patient. Stay strong. Don’t let them break you. But most importantly, be ready. Eventually an opportunity will arise and he will take it. He’ll make right what he can, and what he can’t he’ll avenge until his last breath. 

_Just hold on._ He thinks, willing the thought out into the air around him, maybe somehow it will reach the people he loves. _I’m coming._


End file.
